Wednesday, January 4, 2012

If it were up to me to plan my own funeral…


...I would have my body obliterated like a beached whale while “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees plays in the background; I would leave the choice of C4 or dynamite up to my friends and relatives. I’d also like to add that everyone present would be able to go home with a little bit of me since the explosion would leave fragments and stains on their clothing, skin and hair. This way, nobody gets left out as a funeral is not for the person who died but the people they leave behind.
After my remains go every which way like Mega Man upon defeat, I would have the rest of my send-off be a funky dance party, hopefully with a live Jamiroquai performance. While everyone is drinking and getting their groove on, several giant megatrons would be replaying the video of my exploding corpse in varying degrees of slow motion as it would surely be a blast to watch. I sincerely apologize for the pun.

1 comment:

  1. I'm not sure how I would plan my funeral but it would be awesome to sit in a dark room and watch it all stream live. Four hours of sniffle-filled ass-kissing from everyone I know, yes please.

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