If I could invent one kind of pill…

...it would be something that instantly sobers you up regardless of what/how much you took. My God, wouldn’t life be grand! You could drink yourself into oblivion while talking to the girl at the bar then pop a pill on the way to her place so the whole thing doesn’t blow up in your face because you were too shitfaced.
Any time you find yourself babysitting a drunk friend (or whatever they might be) all you would have to do is drop one of those magic pills into their drink then go about your business. Soberzall is what I would probably call it.